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WARNINGS AND INTRODUCTIONS / May 1

(From "YEAR ONE: Crash Course In Culture Shock")

 

Dear diary.........NOPE, too girly.

Dear nobody except me, because NOBODY else is going to read this!


Dear little brother, if you are reading this then you are SO busted……if I catch you. You can’t read anyway so never-mind, but NO LOOKING!!!


Dear mom and dad, if you are reading this then you should be ashamed of yourselves! I’ve heard you say that relationships are based on trust. I’m trusting you NOT to read this so close it NOW! (Note to self: must install security cameras around journal hiding spot. The area IS NOT in my closet inside my Nike shoe box.)


Dear future me, when you read this you should be thankful that I protected our secrets from enemy spies…even in our own house!


Dear journal (that’s sounds better), you are my private book. We are going to be good friends. I’ll tell you my secrets and you protect them. Okay? With your LIFE! (Note to self: research homemade booby traps in books.) I decided to start writing in you because I think this is going to be a very interesting year. First, dad and mom dropped a BOMB on Lucas and I yesterday.


Okay, let me back up a bit…


Dad = bald guy, kind of handsome, kind of ugly. He’s fun unless I’m in trouble and then no fun. He likes to spend too much time outside playing soccer, running, riding bikes, waterskiing, snowboarding, throwing the frisbee, hitting golf-balls…can you believe how long this list is getting?!?! He’s a teacher and I’m sure his students like him because he tells lots of funny stories. He also plays guitar and sings (which is cool until he asks me to sing with him. NO THANKS!) and sometimes preaches at church (more on this later).


Mom = dad says she’s beautiful and I think she’s pretty most of the time, but she does look kind of weird in the mornings. My mom is also a teacher. I think she may be smarter than my dad because she came to America from Mexico when she was 10 years old and couldn’t speak any English! How crazy is that? Now she’s a bilingularly (not sure if I spelled that right) teacher which means she teaches in both English and Spanish. My mom also got a scholarship for college and didn’t have to pay any money…I don’t think my dad got one of those. My mom became a US citizen when I was three years old. On the day my mom graduated from college and on the day she became a US citizen, I cried the whole time. Not sure why. Maybe she forgot to bring my favorite snacks or something. Can you believe that? A smart and accomplished woman like my mom, forgetting something so important and easy?


I love mom and dad and I’m pretty sure they love me (they tell me A LOT). I definitely know they love each other because they always kiss in front of me. Personally, I prefer fist-bumps.


Lucas (a.k.a. the DESTRUCTIONER) = little brother, some say he’s cute, but I’m not so sure. Big eyes, curly hair, a little dangerous. I was giving him a hug the other day and he bit me. Most of all, he destroys EVERYTHING. Example #1 he got a spoon and dug out the dirt in all of mom’s plants. There were piles of dirt all over our house. Example #2, he went in the bathroom and came out 3 minutes later wrapped up in toilet paper like a little mummy! Example #3…see drawings of what Lucas has done to my toys:


Aunt Mel = my dad’s younger sister who also happens to be my mom’s best friend and the coolest aunt in the world. She has lived with us since before I was born along with her dog Darby. Aunt Mel is also a teacher (Geez, I’m surrounded by the enemy of all freedom-loving kids!). Here are a few reasons why Aunt Mel is so cool: she plays with me A LOT. She kid-watches Lucas and I (I do not approve of the term baby-sits) and when she does she orders pizza, makes cookies, lets us watch a movie, paint, do cool science project stuff, etc. Aunt Mel keeps us up to date on the latest toys, electronics, and fashion. Now that I think about it, Aunt Mel is like a grown-up best friend which is strange since she’s old, a teacher, AND a girl.


So that’s my family. How I’m able to survive with these people, I’m not too sure.


I do have some help though. Dad and mom say that I was made by a great big, strong and awesome God who loves me. I’m not too sure about what God looks like or where He lives, but I’m learning more and more about Him. I guess He could have made me a snail or a hippopotamus, so overall, I’m pretty happy being a kid with a good and crazy family.


I’ve been learning at church and at home that God’s word (The BIBLE) is important and that God likes for us to talk to Him so I’m going to write a short prayer and a Bible verse that I like at the end of my journal every day.


Thank you God for my dad and mom and little brother and Aunt Mel and Darby. Thank you for our house, for our food and for my clothes and toys. Please use your heavenly superpowers to protect this journal from all spying eyes for all eternity. Amen.


Psalm 119:114 (ERV) “Hide me and protect me. I trust what you say.”


(Oops. Sorry journal, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for the BOMB from dad and mom. I’m tired. I’ve never written this much before. Good night.)


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