CUTE & CUDDLY DEATH THREATS / March 11
(From "ROUND TWO: The Year Of The Chloe")
My little sister is starting to talk. Which is cool, funny and a little annoying, but mostly funny!
Of course, dad wanted her first word to be “Daddy” and my mom wanted her first word to be “Mommy” so to accomplish this they competed to see who could repeat the word the most right in front of her little face. And they didn’t just say “daddy” and “mommy” in their usual grown-up voices, but instead tried to sound like a little baby themselves…this is the annoying part of my baby sister learning to talk. If you don't believe me, just watch...
I was hoping for something more interesting and original from her like “Underpants”! Which is why I kept showing her the Captain Underpants movie on Netflix.
But it turned out that none of us would have her first say because Baby Chloe decided her very first word would be….wait for it…“DIE!”
Yep. My not-so-innocent, but very cute and cuddly little baby sister tells EVERYONE she meets to “die!”. I’m using an exclamation mark because that's exactly how she yells it every time: "DIE!"
The other night I dreamed Chloe was strapped with a machine gun and covered in bullets, yelling “DIE!” as she sprayed a horde of flying insect zombies. She was tough. I woke up thinking I better not mess with her today!
At first, I couldn’t figure it out, but then it dawned on me…EVERY time my dad and brother and I leave home or return home we say “Bye” and “Hi” to baby Chloe who usually starts running toward us as we leave or enter the door. On top of that, everyone she meets outside on the street, whether friend or stranger, all say the same thing to her: “Hi bao bei (baby).” and “BYE BYE bao bei.” She probably hears these words over 100 times a day! “Daddy” and “mommy” didn’t even stand a chance.
“DIE” is my baby sister’s way of saying “Hi” and “Bye”! How hilarious is that?!?!
Now Lucas and I can’t wait to take her outside and listen to her threaten everyone she meets:
Walking down the street…”DIE!”
In the supermarket…”DIE!”
At the playground…”DIE!”
On the elevator with a group of people…”DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE”
Lucas and I crack up laughing every time because no one has a clue this cute little girl is condemning them to their grave! Even mom and dad can’t help laughing!
Apparently little kids can have trouble learning their sounds at first. At dinner last night mom and dad told me that MY first word was “ball”, but it took them a while to figure that out because I had trouble with my “b” sound so it came out like “doll”. Lucas thought that was hilarious. I didn’t find it very funny and Baby Chloe agreed because she looked across the dinner table at Lucas and said “DIE!”
At bedtime, mom had a talk with Lucas and I about how important it is to say good words and do good things around Chloe because she is always watching and listening to us even when we don't know it. She learns by copying others so whatever we do and say, she will do and say. Woah, it's like I have a chance to create a new little version of myself! I've been wanting a robot for a long time, but maybe a baby sister will be better. I told my mom that starting tomorrow I'm going to say nice things around Chloe over and over again. Mom read this Bible verse to us before she turned out the lights. I'm writing it down because it is a good one.
Ephesians 4:29 (ERV) "When you talk, don’t say anything bad. But say the good things that people need—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you."
I've decided to keep it simple and teach Chloe these 3 easy sentences: "I love my oldest brother", "Hudson is great", and "God bless you oldest brother." Doing what the Bible says is not easy, but with my help, Chloe will be a blessing to at least ONE person every day.
Dear God, thank you for my little sister. Please help her to learn some nice words soon because she's scaring people. Help me to be a good big brother and to watch what I say and do because she is watching and listening to me. Wow. That's a big responsibility! Sometimes I get angry and say mean things to Lucas or make fun of him...wait a minute...maybe that's why he says and does mean things to me! Maybe I helped create the little monster! I hope it's not too late to start training him too. Forgive me Lord and help me be a good example to my little brother AND my little sister. Most important of all Lord, You see and hear everything I do and say and I want to please you with my life. I'm going to try. Thank You for giving us the Bible to show us the way. Amen.
Ummm, one more thing God. When I'm training Chloe, please protect me.